No, I am not being hazed at the monastery. But I am trying to be a "zero."
Everyone wants to be a "plus one" when they start...someone who will contribute and make things better and run more smoothly. But really, the best you can hope for at the beginning is to not mess things up or get in the way. So day one was dedicated to making sure I was on time to everything (from the 4:30 am wake-up call for chanting, to 7:30 am silent breakfast, to 1:05 - sharp for lunch, and 7-9 evening meditation) and making sure I didn't mess up scrubbing the toilets and folding laundry. I've been here before so the monastic schedule is no surprise to me but as a guest, I was participating in cleaning, cooking, and service activities on a volunteer basis since my main goal was to work on my thesis. Now, all these tasks are a necessary part of my awakening and responsibility to the monastery. It is beautiful and I am grateful to be here. Let's see how long mopping floors and scrubbing toilets feels like a blessing.
In fact, I actually did make the mistake of using bleach to clean a bucket because our head teacher, Soryu, is allergic to synthetic fragrances and the smell of bleach is hazardous to his health...wonderful. But, all in all, I've kept my toes in line which honestly, isn't the point at all...the point is to AWAKEN. During interview hours (a special one-on-one time with Soryu during meditation) I asked him about expressions of joy. He was encouraging my continued practice of feeling compassion with my entire body - every cell of my being and he told me to welcome joy and awe - not to suppress it. This was interesting to me as the monastery can feel like a stifling place. It is so quiet at times and I usually attempt to refrain from being loud so as not to be a distraction to others. We even try to breathe quietly! But I asked him about singing - if that was ok and he told me not to suppress anything - to embrace my authentic expression of joy as fully as possible. I am excited to continue to explore what this means. I may end up singing and dancing around the monastery as that is truly one of my most authentic expressions of joy. Can't wait for that!
On a side not, my favorite part of the day was helping Autumn, my roommate and the only other female resident, clean and reorganize the fridges and upon consolidating two jars of grey poupon mustard, I got to lick the spoon! Yay! ...Yep. It's the little things out here.
Another very fun and exciting thing that happened today: I jumped in the frozen pond and ran around in the snow barefoot as part of my morning exercise... what an exhilarating experience! I plan to make a habit out of this.
Everyone wants to be a "plus one" when they start...someone who will contribute and make things better and run more smoothly. But really, the best you can hope for at the beginning is to not mess things up or get in the way. So day one was dedicated to making sure I was on time to everything (from the 4:30 am wake-up call for chanting, to 7:30 am silent breakfast, to 1:05 - sharp for lunch, and 7-9 evening meditation) and making sure I didn't mess up scrubbing the toilets and folding laundry. I've been here before so the monastic schedule is no surprise to me but as a guest, I was participating in cleaning, cooking, and service activities on a volunteer basis since my main goal was to work on my thesis. Now, all these tasks are a necessary part of my awakening and responsibility to the monastery. It is beautiful and I am grateful to be here. Let's see how long mopping floors and scrubbing toilets feels like a blessing.
In fact, I actually did make the mistake of using bleach to clean a bucket because our head teacher, Soryu, is allergic to synthetic fragrances and the smell of bleach is hazardous to his health...wonderful. But, all in all, I've kept my toes in line which honestly, isn't the point at all...the point is to AWAKEN. During interview hours (a special one-on-one time with Soryu during meditation) I asked him about expressions of joy. He was encouraging my continued practice of feeling compassion with my entire body - every cell of my being and he told me to welcome joy and awe - not to suppress it. This was interesting to me as the monastery can feel like a stifling place. It is so quiet at times and I usually attempt to refrain from being loud so as not to be a distraction to others. We even try to breathe quietly! But I asked him about singing - if that was ok and he told me not to suppress anything - to embrace my authentic expression of joy as fully as possible. I am excited to continue to explore what this means. I may end up singing and dancing around the monastery as that is truly one of my most authentic expressions of joy. Can't wait for that!
On a side not, my favorite part of the day was helping Autumn, my roommate and the only other female resident, clean and reorganize the fridges and upon consolidating two jars of grey poupon mustard, I got to lick the spoon! Yay! ...Yep. It's the little things out here.
Another very fun and exciting thing that happened today: I jumped in the frozen pond and ran around in the snow barefoot as part of my morning exercise... what an exhilarating experience! I plan to make a habit out of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment